Training and fighting angry, perhaps not

I believe true focus lies somewhere between rage and serenity.

That’s a line from one of the X-Men movies.  It’s a great line and it makes you think.  I’ve never liked training angry and I can’t imagine I’d like to fight angry either. 😉

I can’t deny that it’s useful – you can build a lot of adrenalin and that can give you more stamina but ultimately I think you can end up exhausting yourself quicker for that extra bit of power behind what you’re doing.

But I also believe that the very opposite is also true and that you can get the same focus if you tap the emotion between sorrow and serentiy.

Have you ever ran on a treadmill and thought about something that made you feel sad and then, (while still running) you reached a kind of peace… and then you felt like you could run forever without actually tiring?

I like listening to music while I run and train but music is always such a personal thing.  Most of the songs I listen to while I train draw on that particular emotional range.  I prefer something that’s going to make me sad but then has a refrain that builds up a feeling of hope.  (Try Heaven by Emili Sande and you can maybe listen to what I mean)

My dog, Poppy, had some kind of stroke while Emma was walking her a couple of days ago.  I feel really worried just now because her spine and her hind legs are in a bad way.  I love that dog. She’s only 3 years-old.  Much too young to not be able to run.  I’m stuck out here in the middle of the Norwegian Sea with 3 weeks to go before I can go home.  Poppy’s stuck in a vet college for observation.  Emma visited her and sat with her for a full 4 hours (way past visitation hours) and I’m so glad she was there.

I felt empty in between punching the heavy bag and pausing for rest.  Normally I’ll train in order to distract myself.  Fight one kind of pain by bringing on another – that kind of thing.

You know what I was thinking about as I was doing these circuits? I thought about Poppy and in my mind I said. “I’m not going to give up but you can’t either Poppy.”  I feel more than helpless.  At least if it’s a person you can phone them and tell them something to lift them but you can’t phone a dog.  Poppy sees Emma coming to visit her and I’m so thankful for that but I’m nowhere to be seen and I just feel nothing but sorrow about that.

I just have to keep hoping Poppy will be okay and pull through.  It doesn’t even bare thinking about any other kind of alternative.

Right now my body is tired and a little sore, especially my arms. I’d never use my sadness or feeling of hopelessness as an excuse to stop and give up.  You can train angry or sad but I honestly think that the truest focus comes from managing and mastering those range of emotions.

I love you Poppy x


Our dog, Poppy